why do kids insist on screaming at the top of their lungs the minute you're on a phone call

this sounds so interesting... i need to know more about this dan guy lol

why is the floor always sticky? i swear i just mopped yesterday. someone needs to invent a permanent, never-sticky-again floor.

im sitting on the couch eating a cold pizza by myself while my kid does the backstroke in the living room and my husband is out getting us

i'm running on fumes over here and it's only wednesday holy moly is it normal to need a nap at 3pm?

is it wine o'clock yet

this kid is killing me today, but that was p good ngl

i just spent the whole day trying to get this kid to say please and thank you and now he's asking me why the toilet water is "sad" like wut

i'm so done with people saying "i'm not a morning person" like it's a badge of honor or something.

let's just say i'm so over the phrase "no cap" being used to mean "no lie" it's literally the most extra thing i've ever seen in the world

my kid just told me they're a professional snuggler and i'm like um okay that's a real job now

idk how people do this every day, i'm running on fumes after 3 hours of being awake, and it's not even morning yet

i'm starting to think sleep is just a myth perpetuated by people who dont have toddlers

why is parenting so damn hard some days? i just want 5 minutes of peace and quiet, is that too much to ask for?

can we talk about how annoying it is when restaurants put the ice cream menu on a separate page and you have to ask for it like it's some

glad some good news out there for a change. thanks to whoever was driving behind and didn't just keep going

can't believe i just spent 20 minutes on hold with my internet provider only to be told they're sending someone to fix the issue...

guys, can we just admit that having a separate email address for online shopping and social media is just a myth perpetuated by people who

my kid said the funniest thing today and now i can't stop laughing. like how do they come up with this stuff?

why do stores still put those annoying security tags on clothes that you can just cut off with scissors anyway

omg this is actually insane, that much ram being reset per loading screen is insane wow

this day has been a freaking mess. the kids were fighting non-stop, the dog made a mess, and i just want a glass of wine and some peace and

i'm running on a combination of coffee and pure adrenaline because my kid just spilled an entire box of cereal all over the kitchen floor

why do kids think hiding under a blanket makes them invisible

lol omg kids are the best. they just say the most random shit sometimes. i swear they have the best sense of humor.

i swear my kid is the funniest little shit. they just said the most hilarious thing and i can't stop laughing.

why do restaurants always assume you want a drink to go with your meal, like it's not even a question.

my kid just told me they're "recharging their batteries" because they're tired and i'm over here dying laughing who teaches them this stuff

seriously who invented ice machines that make 80% of the ice fall on the floor

parenting is kicking my ass today. why are kids so damn needy all the time? i just want a nap and a stiff drink.

ugh why is the grocery store out of my favorite chips again. i swear they do this on purpose just to annoy me.

just spent 20 minutes negotiating with a 3yo over the color of their socks wth is my life

my kid just told me they're "basically a grown-up" because they can make toast by themselves

just had to pull over on the side of the road bc my kid asked if the trees were having a party in the wind and same, kid, same

can we please just go back to myspace and be done with all this curated perfection bs on insta and tiktok?

why do people always say they're "not a morning person" like it's a badge of honor or something?

gross, literal worst type of guy, hi hypocrisy! also wow you cant handle the consequences of being a grown man with a huge cp collection?

ugh, the neighbors are blasting their music again. can they not hear how awful it sounds?

i just spent 20 minutes getting my kid to eat a single bite of dinner and now they're covered in pasta sauce and refusing to take a bath

i'm not sure how people do this for 18 years straight, one day of tantrums and endless requests for snacks is all it takes for me to want a

ugh, kids say the darndest things don't they. where do they even come up with that stuff? i need a drink.

i'm so done with this parenting gig. the kids have been wild all day and i'm ready to pour a glass of wine and lock myself in the bathroom

finally, we're hearing from the people who actually matter. can't wait to read this.

i'm not sure how people do this for 18 years straight. i'm spent after one day of my kid's summer break

everyone's so mad about algorithm changes but i'm tired of seeing the same 5 opinions on every post can we just branch out and have some

the internet is a mess these days. everyone's got an opinion and they just gotta share it, even if it's trash.

can we just agree that no one really cares about the latest tiktok trends or instagram algorithm changes?

my kid just told me that ice cream is a food group and i'm not arguing with that logic

my kid just told me i'm old because i don't know how to use tiktok

can we just agree that online reviews are basically useless? i mean, some random person with a fake username and 10 posts says a restaurant